My bone china coffee cup sank through the breakfast table. Strange when you see it: the lack of resistance; wood veneer a thick syrup. It lasted just a moment, but the cup had submerged to the handle when the world pulled solid again, a listing little boat caught between a tomato ketchup buoy and theContinue reading “A Surreal Little Easter Story”
Tag Archives: humour
Six Indispensible Things You’ll Need to be a ‘Pro’ Writer
After years of research, I finally have a definitive list: 1) A word processor. Apple is preferred, but Windows and Linux based options make you look like you’ve suffered for your art, rather than been gifted a fifteen hundred quid PC. Whether you buy it, get given it or nick it, no writer can liveContinue reading “Six Indispensible Things You’ll Need to be a ‘Pro’ Writer”
The Drummers Drumming (Day 12 of 12)
Now that the plumbing is unblocked, thanks to eleven highly trained exponents of the plumbing art, I can allow myself a short pause, mid cast-party, to review the triumphs of the eleven days I have masterminded in pursuit of my true love’s happiness: Frozen partridges have been nailed to pear trees; Doves have been paintedContinue reading “The Drummers Drumming (Day 12 of 12)”
The Piping Castastophy (Day 11 of 12)
Day Eleven. I’m supposed to get pipers. You can’t get pipers for love nor money. In Scotland, maybe, but we’re in rural Northamptonshire, as I pointed out in the last episode. Out in the country, we have aristocracy but no bagpipers. From a swift survey, men without underwear are also rare (plenty who’ll happily appearContinue reading “The Piping Castastophy (Day 11 of 12)”
How to Get Lords To Leap (Day 10 of 12)
There are those among you who would no doubt approach the Lords-a-Leaping problem with a rather cynical eye. ‘Where are there some spare Lords that never do anything worthwhile?’ you’d ask. Well, they’re all down Westminster hanging around the Big House, pretending to be part of the government, swaggering and posing like school boys colonisingContinue reading “How to Get Lords To Leap (Day 10 of 12)”
