High Treason, blisters on my hands (no, not from doing that!) and property damage involving a JCB – all this is the result of the seventh day challenge, i.e. procuring Swans-a-Swimming. A toughie! From the get-go, it seems there are two problems with Day Seven: Problem One: Can you actually own swans? The British CrownContinue reading “Procuring Swans (Day Seven of The Days of Christmas)”
Tag Archives: comedy
Eggs and Bad Banking on Day Six
Day Six of the twelve days of Christmas is all about geese laying eggs. How to get my true love this next gift? Now to be perfectly honest, I live next to a reservoir. We have Canadian Geese. It’s a lot warmer around Northamptonshire than Vancouver at this time of year, so rather than losingContinue reading “Eggs and Bad Banking on Day Six”
New Uses for Old Airfix Paints on Day Five
As Day Five of the twelve days dawns, we’re off the ornithology for a moment and onto jewellery, but a budgetary crisis looms. When it comes to the Gold Rings, said crisis is both mathematical and metallurgical. Firstly, the maths. It’s a weird gift-giving scenario we’re into here, in which the numerical quantity of giftsContinue reading “New Uses for Old Airfix Paints on Day Five”
The Days of Christmas (Part Four)
Day Four. We’ve done the nailed-on Partridge, the peroxide-modified turtle doves and the really-French French hens (see previous episodes). We’ve also eaten too much turkey, drunk too much wine, listened to the Queen (fell asleep, actually) and we’re drowning in the torn strips of wrapping paper. Now there’s a problem. What the f*ck are theContinue reading “The Days of Christmas (Part Four)”
The Days of Christmas (Part Three- The Hens)
Three French hens. I got myself into a bit of a quandary over this. When you say French hens, do you mean Faverolles chickens, a breed originating in north-central France, in the vicinity of the village called Faverolle? These are wide-spread and can be picked up for a few pounds at any livestock market. OrContinue reading “The Days of Christmas (Part Three- The Hens)”
